Saturday, Apr 12, 2008 at 10:20 AM (Public Entry)

Reading Chapter 7 in Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" this morning.

I came to the question on page 187, "What are the things that upset and disturb me?" Immediately I think of my children. Much, much less than a couple years ago, but I still can get reactive to their noise and can go up and down along with their upsets.

Eckhart says, "The world always makes sure that you cannot fool yourself for long about who you really think you are by showing you what truly matters to you. How you react to people and situations, especially when challenges arise, is the best indicator of how deeply you know yourself."

"You are not the ego, so when you become aware of the ego in you, it does not mean you know who you are - it means you know who you are not. But it is through knowing who are not that the greatest obstacle to truly knowing yourself is removed."

Wow. I know this stuff, but it was like I was seeing it and feeling it for the first time.

So, my ego thinks that I am this little me who is easily disturbed and bothered by noise and who is subject to the ups and downs of my children's interactions. Reactive, easily bothered, my ego feels powerless, confused and unsure at times. Other times, it attacks in defense, thinking it needs to protect itself.

On page 190, Tolle goes on to say that "Whatever you think the world is withholding from you, you are withholding from the world. You are withholding it because deep down you think you are small and that you have nothing to give."

Regarding my children, I felt into what I think, in the heat of the moment, they withhold from me. Attention, respect, peace and quiet.

An exercise is suggested (pgs 190 - 191) to give what you think people are withholding from you. Our To-Be List comes to mind.

I am ATTENTIVE. I am RESPECT. I am PEACE. I am QUIET.

Today I am attentive. I really listen to my kids with my ears and my heart. I listen more and talk less.

Today I am respect. I see beyond the ego to the magnificent spirit and the beingness of who you are.

Today I am peace and quiet. I take quiet breaks throughout the day. I close my eyes, breathe and rest in awareness. I talk less around my children. I choose peace in every situation. I enjoy quiet time outside in nature.

What are the things that upset and disturb you?

What do you think that you are withholding from the world?

Take your answers and create a To-Be list for the day and make clear your intentions.

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